"The Farting Bride"

Pictures and Japanese story kindly provided by "Fukushima Folktales Net" website.

Once upon a time, there lived a good-looking and good-natured daughter in a certain place. She never married into a family for unknown reasons.

One steward came there looking for a bridal candidate for his client.

He took a fancy to her at first sight and suddenly decided on her as his clientfs bride, without her agreement.

 The bride was a hardworking woman. She worked very hard as busy as a beaver from morning till night without aimless chatters or breaks.

 Her scolding mother-in-law was very glad at the way she worked. She said, gHow happy we are to get a good bride!h

@But the bride became strange after one week. She gradually got pale and took uncertain steps when she moved. Her mother-in-law asked her, gAre you ill?h But she stubbornly insisted,h Ifm all right.h

 She became worse and haggard. It looked out of the ordinary.

 Her mother-in-law severely asked her again. At last she confessed, gIfm trying so hard not to fart, and now I feel sick.h

Her mother-in-law said to the bride, gOh! Fart. Itfs no big deal. Donft put up with it! Fart as much as you want.h

The bride was encouraged by the tender words and lifted up her bottom. She began to fart. gBoo! Boo! Boo! Boo!h

 The power of the fart was stronger than a thunderstorm and tsunami put together, and blew out her mother-in-law, drawers and cashbox.

 Her mother-in-law cried, gStop up the fart!h But she was finally blown to the smoke flap in the far distance.

 In fact the daughter had not been able to marry into a family because of this.

 Her mother-in-law scrambled down the ladder from the smoke flap. She got really mad and said, gI canft live with such a terrible farter, even if she is a good-looking or hardworking daughter.h

 The mother-in-law condemned her to make preparations and brought her back to her parentfs home.   

 On the way home, the roadside was crowded with people. Many cattlemen tried to pick persimmons with sticks from the treefs branches. They were making a fuss.

 The bride couldnft stop herself from telling them, because she was unhappy with her return home. She thought that she had farted with her mother-in-lawfs permission.

 She said to them, gWhy canft you get the persimmons? I can easily drop persimmons with my fart!h

 The cattlemen went all huffy. gYou can drop persimmons with your fart!? Thatfs all right. Give it your best shot!h

 They promised to give her five cows and ten straw bags of rice, if she could succeed.

 gOK! Just see if I donft!h the bride said.

 She slowly rolled up her Kimonofs hem and turned her bottom to the persimmon tree. And she farted with all her strength. gBoo! Boo! Boo! Boo!h

 gI donft need to hesitate to fart, because I have to go back home.h gBoo! Boo! Boo! Boo!h

 How powerful her fart was! The strong wind blew away all the cattlemen and dropped all of the persimmons. They hovered in the air.

 The persimmons hit the cattlemenfs face like thrown stones and splattered on their faces.

 In the sound of fart, the cattlemen cried and screamed out for help, gStop! Stop the fart!h

 But nobody could stop the fart which was launched once.

 The bride made the sound of the fart from the rooftops. gBoo! Boo! Boo! Boo!h

 It was overwhelming destruction, as if five typhoons hit at the same time.

 When the power of her fart dropped all the persimmons, the bride finally stopped farting.

 The cattlemen had no longer enough energy to even be able to utter a voice. They offered her five cows and ten straw bags of rice.  

 Then the mother-in-law appeared. Actually, she had taken refuge upriver for fear of the bridefs fart power.

 She saw the bride get five cows and ten straw bags of rice, and said, smiling brightly.

 gI had thought to allow you to make a home visit. But now you have got a ton of goods. So letfs go back to our house in the meantime.h

 At first, the bride was infuriated with her mother-in-law, who had said she would return her to her parentsf home. But she was reluctant to return there in the first place.

 So they eventually left for home in fine spirits. On their way home, the mother-in-law hauled the cows in the lead and the bride bullwhipped them from behind.

 When they arranged the ten straw bags of rice to show off on their veranda, the mother-in-law said to the bride, gListen. You should fart everyday. However, fart in a direction towards the mountains. The fart is one of our greatest assets.h

 Since then they lived happily together ever after.


"A Straw Millionaire"

Once upon a time, a man lived in the country. He always wanted to be a rich man, so everyday he went to the shrine and prayed to God that he would become rich. Twenty one days after, God finally said to him, "If you cherish the thing you touch first, you will become rich." He was very glad to hear that and at once he left the shrine in a hurry, he stumbled on a stone and fell down. Then he touched a straw. That is to say, the first thing he touched was a straw.

He left for travel cherishing it. After a while, a bee came up to him. It was so noisy that he caught it to the top of the straw. He walked swinging the straw with the bee. Soon a procession of a king and his retainers approached him. The king's baby was crying and saw the straw with a bee. The baby said, "Mommy, I want that! I need that! Mom, Momc" His mother had a trouble and came up to him. She said, "Would you give the straw with the bee to my son?" He replied, "I'm so sorry I can't do because God gave this to me and ordered to cherish this." She said, "Well, let's make an exchange, these three oranges for it. Thank you for your help." She wooed him, and he agreed reluctantly. The baby stopped crying with the straw with the bee.

One day, it was very hot. The man was very thirsty and tried to eat the oranges. Then he came across a traveler who was bent with pale face under a tree. He asked the traveler, "What's wrong?" The traveler replied, "I'm very thirsty. Would you give me the oranges you have?" The man said, "I'm so sorry I can't because these three oranges were given to me by God." The traveler said, "Let's make an exchange three rolls of cloth for them." He accepted unwillingly and thought that indeed God was quite right because he was getting rich. The first was a straw. The second were three oranges. The third were three rolls of cloth. Ummc

Soon after when he was walking, he found a horse lying on the road. The horse seemed very sick because it breathed very heavily. He asked the owner, "What's wrong?" The owner answered, "I'm in a hurry. I hurried so first that my horse fell down. I must leave it here now. Would you exchange your three rolls of cloth for this horse?" The man accepted it and took the horse to a river. As soon as they arrived at the river, the horse drank some water and got well. The man continued his travel slowly riding the horse. It got dark and the man thought that he should find some place to stay. He looked around and saw a big house at the foot of a mountain. He went through the big gate and said loudly, "Hello, is anyone here?" An old man appeared and said, "Oh! Fortunately I have a visitor at a good time. Could you do me a favor? I must leave for travel tomorrow and I'm looking for a man who can look after my house while I'm out. If you are free, do you grant my request? If I can't come back here, this big house and a big farm will be yours. I'll exchange my want for your horse." The man said, "I'll do with pleasure because I'm not in a hurry and I'm free." The man waited for him for several years, but the old man didn't come back. That is to say, the man became a millionaire as God had said. People called him 'A Straw Millionaire'.

If you want to read a parody of 'A Straw Millionaire' written by Michiyo, please read next.


The continuation of "A Straw Millionaire" created by Michiyo

The former owner of the big house was a lord of manor, so he had a lot of peasants as well as a big farm. As the old lord didn't come back again, the man became the lord. Namely, he became a millionaire. As God said, he got a straw, a bee, three oranges, three rolls of cloth, a horse, and finally a big house, a large farm, and a lot of peasants. He changed his ragged cloth into a well-tailored Japanese traditional dress, kimono. All, dresses, shoes, rooms, a bath, dishes, a bed, was the thing he had never used before. He changed not only his cloth, but also his mind. He was beside himself with joy at his success. He got everything more than enough. One night, he had a meeting with his peasants at a shrine in the village. After the meeting, on his way home he had a trouble because he had no lantern. Instead of a candle of a lantern, he burned all his bills he had in his wallet. He ended up burning a million-yen. Moreover, an unexpected thing happened. He was careless with fire because he had drunk so much at the meeting. The fire spread to his big house and he ran away for his life with a lean horse. He ended up losing his house.

It was spring. He wandered in the forest with the bony horse. He was exhausted, and what was worse it began to rain. When he got into a temple to shelter from the heavy rain, he met a cloth vendor. The vendor was on his way to Kyoto, where he had to sell all his cloth rolls. He had to get money as much as he could because his wife was critically sick. The vendor said, "I was in a hurry because of my wife's critical condition. Would you exchange your horse for three rolls of cloth?" The man felt sorry for him and accepted his request. That night, he could sleep soundly because he pillowed his head on the roll of cloth. Next morning, he woke up early because he was really thirsty. As soon as he got up, he began to bite into the orange, which was offered on the altar for God. He also stole three oranges. At once the monk of the temple found him, he shouted, "Stop, he is a robber!" The man was so surprised that he left three rolls of cloth. He got away as fast as he could. He was exhausted in mind and body. Accidentally he found a flower garden, where he took a nap. Soon after he woke up because a bee was buzzing so loudly around him. He had to run away as fast as possible again. Finally he jumped into a river beside the flower garden. The river ran faster than he had expected, and he was drowning. The drowning man actually grasped a straw. The rapid stream of the river moved him away. He lost consciousness in the rapids. When he regained consciousness, he was at the front gate of the shrine where he had prayed to be rich several years ago. What an ironic fate it was! The only thing he got was a mere straw.